


Hauntober Week Four

by HatchetNoseGelphie



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Lesbians, Minor Violence, Revenants, Sassy Nicole, one shots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:27:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27137986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HatchetNoseGelphie/pseuds/HatchetNoseGelphie
Summary: I saw the tumblr prompts for Hauntober week four and decided to do it for Wynonna Earp. I'm a bit behind due to classes and work, but the goal is to finish all seven by the end of the week.This will be a series of one-shots, they likely won't be very long.
Relationships: Waverly Earp & Nicole Haught, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	Hauntober Week Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Monday's prompt: Familiars

Quite frankly, Nicole was tired of the whole Revenant bullshit. It seemed like they were willing to try anything to get the heir’s attention – even, you know, kidnapping the heir’s baby sister’s girlfriend _in her own house_.

“The heir is on her way,” one of the Revenants, who Nicole was internally calling Eyebrows for the fact that they were the most distinct feature on his face, said to the other.

The other (who, it must be noted, wore nothing but briefs) cackled maniacally and bounced up and down. _Peanut_ , she decided as a nickname. Unfortunately, she thought, the image would be burned into her retinas for years to come.

Peanut approached her and poked a bony finger into her cheek. “You’ll serve a purpose, Sheriff,” he giggled. There was definitely something wrong in his brain.

“You know, I’m not sure Halloween was the best time for you guys to try this stunt,” she said, rolling her neck. Her arms and legs were tied up pathetically, but damn it if she wasn’t going to torment them back while waiting for Wynonna to send them back to Hell.

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Eyebrows demanded.

“I mean, haven’t you heard? Halloween belongs to the lesbians. It’s physically impossible to hurt a lesbian on Halloween.”

Eyebrows scoffed, and then his fist flew into her face. “I never back down from a challenge. You feel that?” he spat.

Okay, maybe not Nicole’s best idea. She was willing to admit that in retrospect. “I don’t feel a thing,” she grinned, ignoring the searing pain from the hit. “Hey, speaking of, I _do_ feel that you two aren’t the brightest bulbs in the box.”

“Just cut her tongue out! Shut her up!” Peanut insisted in exasperation.

“You’re certainly not the most creative. I mean, you don’t even have the decency to take me to some abandoned warehouse or anything. Where’s the fun in keeping me here?”

Eyebrows rolled his eyes. “I might, Ralph,” he said.

“ _Ralph?_ ” Nicole repeated, laughing. “Oh, man. I think I’m gonna stick to the nickname I was calling you in my head.”

Peanut frowned, “You got a nickname for me?”

“Mhm. Been spending too much time with my best friend, I think. You know her. Snarky, wild brown hair. A little rough around the edges, but you’ll learn to love her.”

“This is not the time to discuss this!” Eyebrows growled, shoving Peanut back. “She’s just trying to distract us for when the heir comes. We need to be on alert.”

Nicole attempted to shrug, glancing towards the window. She thought she’d be scared in a scenario like this, but after demons and widows and vampires galore, she was mostly irritated. She could be binging horror movies with her girlfriend, laughing about how the people in them were so dumb, but instead, she was stuck with such buffoons as kidnappers.

They hadn’t even tightened the ropes very much. If she had the opportunity where they were distracted, she could very well slip right out.

Clearly, they failed their Kidnapping 101 class.

There was a clatter from the upper floor, spooking both present demons. Nicole laughed, her head thrown back dramatically. “ _Man_ , you two are really terrible,” she managed through her peals of laughter.

But then Peanut pressed a knife to her throat, and she thought it best if she stopped laughing. “Is there someone else in the house?” he demanded.

She cringed and drew back as much as she could. “I think I speak on behalf of everyone when I say you should really stop gargling piss. It’s not very becoming, and it certainly won’t attract any – “

Peanut pressed the knife against her throat, drawing a few drops of blood. Nicole yelped quietly and bit her lip. Waverly wouldn’t be too happy with her if she got her throat slashed.

“Answer the question,” Eyebrows growled.

Nicole bit her lip, glancing around as best she could with her limited vision. “It’s just my familiar,” she said, praying that Calamity Jane did what she was supposed to for once in her goddamn life and stayed upstairs.

“Your _what?_ ”

“My familiar, Eyebrows,” she repeated exasperatedly. “I’m secretly a witch, didn’t you know?”

Eyebrows regarded her suspiciously. “You’re not a witch,” he said accusingly.

“Untie me and I’ll show you.”

Because even though she could slip out, she probably shouldn’t while they had weapons on their persons and she was alone, armed with nothing but a quick wit and good looks. Quick wit and good looks were very important – they were part of the Lesbian Weapon Starter Kit – but they didn’t really do much against blades, unfortunately.

Peanut moved forward to do just that but was stopped by the other Revenant. “Don’t trust her.”

“Show us without being untied,” Peanut demanded.

“I can’t. Kind of need my hands. _Whoosh_.”

“Then we don’t believe you.”

Something in the window caught Nicole’s attention and she had to fight back a smirk. “Fine. I’ll show you, using my psychic powers of predicting the future.” She closed her eyes and made a show of thinking hard. “Ah, yes. You two will be dead in about twenty seconds.”

The door burst open before they had a chance to process it, revealing both Waverly and Wynonna, both _entirely_ pissed off.

“Didn’t you know? Halloween belongs to the lesbians,” Waverly snipped as she brought a bat down on Eyebrows’ head.

Nicole took the opportunity, while Waverly occupied Eyebrows and Wynonna fought off Peanut, to slip out of her binds. She wrapped her arm around Peanut’s throat, strangling him. “Wanna know why I nicknamed you Peanut?” she hissed in his ear.

He scratched at her arm pathetically. She threw him down to the ground just in time to watch Wynonna fire Peacemaker on Eyebrows. “Buh-bye, wackos. It was nice knowing you,” Nicole said pleasantly as the gun was turned onto Peanut.

“Are you okay!?” Waverly worried, combing over every inch of Nicole frantically.

“Just a bit bruised. I’m good, promise.”

Wynonna bowed with a flourish. “You’re welcome, Haught. Bet you were scared out of your wits.”

Nicole waved her hand in front of Wynonna’s face. “ _Whoosh_.”

“Babe, what are you doing?”

Nicole looked at Waverly and shrugged. “Well, when I said that before, Wynonna appeared. I thought maybe she’d disappear if I did it again. Wishful thinking,” she sighed dramatically.

“Bitch.”

Waverly laughed and pressed her face into her girlfriend’s shoulder. “I was worried about you,” she said after sobering up.

“Don’t worry, Waves. I knew that if I did something stupid, I’d have your wrath to face.”

“So, what do you call that shiner on your cheek?” Wynonna snickered.

Nicole smiled. “Good old-fashioned negotiation, my dear Earp. Now, where’s my damn cat and what did she break upstairs?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter's prompt: Potions
> 
> Also, fun fact, but 2020's Halloween belongs to the aces (I don't make the rules, sorry). I'm assuming this chapter takes place in a year that's less of a shitstorm :D


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